Honoring People with Names

When I was a kid, I was tickled pink that I had the same middle name as my mom.  My first name — well, that seemed to be completely a matter of chance.  My mother was knocked out with the drugs, and my dad was pressed by the army doctors to fill in the birth certificate without her.  They had discussed the name “Melanie” at some point while I had been baking, and so Melanie I became.  But my middle name!  To me, it seemed premeditated.  Classic.  A little piece of history, passed down to me for my very own.

And what is this stunning middle name, you may ask?  Brace yourself.  My middle name is … Ann.

I look at it now and wonder how I could ever have been so enamored with it.  I mean, there’s not even an “-e” to dress it up a bit!

But this middle name was also my mother’s, and I was the kind of child who liked being connected with the past in any way.

Flash forward a few years, and my parents are faced with the task of naming my brother.  They knew that they wanted to name him after our maternal grandfather, but there was a problem.  You see, our dad shared a name with his dad.  And my new baby brother would likely be the only boy with our last name.  He was supposed to be the one to “carry it on,” you see.

Much drama ensued.  The whole situation culminated in my poor brother being given TWO middle names, to try to cover everybody who needed to be “honored.”

That whole episode kind of left a sour taste in my mouth when I think about “honoring” people with names.  I see nothing wrong with naming a child after an author, artist, or historical figure you admire.  I can even condone the practice of using random names of long-gone relatives in your family tree.  But things start getting a bit hairy when you decide to name the kid after Aunt Lillian (probably just because you like the sound of her name, not because she rescued your dog from being hit by a car, or something), and then Aunt Mildred starts getting her panties in a bunch (maybe because she really DID rescue your dog and thinks she deserves a namesake).

You can see where “honoring” someone who is still alive can lead to hurt feelings and family drama.

Not to mention, there is a certain weight of expectation that is put upon a child when they become the one to carry the family name.  I don’t think it’s a coincidence that there is a disproportionally high number of “Juniors” who are behind bars — don’t quote me on this; I read it somewhere and can’t remember the source.  Also, I have nothing against Juniors, personally:  my husband is one, and he seems to have turned out pretty good.

And so we will not be naming our new baby (coming in July, yay!) after anybody on either side of our family.  There will not be a George Middlename Lastname III.  We declare our independence from George III (sorry)!

(note:  the guy with the pipe may or may not be my great-grandfather, John Marshall Lastname.)

I’ll be back next week!

Whew, it’s been a crazy week.  There have been all kinds of exciting things going on over on this end.  Sorry to leave you with Michael for so long … I’ll be back next week.  Promise. 

Unisex Names

I’m baaack!  It has been a long and refreshing break.  I’ve enjoyed it very much, but I’m rarin’ to get back!

Unisex names.  Please tell me I wasn’t the only kid who giggled whenever she heard the word “unisex.”  Maybe the 80s were just kinder, gentler times.  But it totally rocked my world whenever this word was mentioned in casual conversation around me when I was a kid.  “Hehehe.  She said a word with ’sex’ in it!”

Yeah, okay:  maybe I was just weird.

There are lots of reasons why a person might want to use a unisex name for his or her child.  Sometimes parents prefer to have a definite name picked out before the sonogram confirms the gender.  Maybe Grandma REALLY wants to get Junior a personalized Christmas ornament, and she doesn’t want to wait to find out; so she pressures Mom and Dad to nail down the name early.  I don’t know.

Sometimes unisex names are just flat-out appealing to some people.  Many parents like the ambiguity that comes with dressing a baby in yellow and calling him/her Peyton Riley Cameron.  There’s a certain breezy modernity to not making the baby’s name indicative of the gender.  But please don’t get carried away with this; there’s nothing more frustrating than looking at a class list and having NO CLUE whether a particular student is a girl or a boy, even after looking at the middle name.

A more serious reason to use a unisex name might be because of an early miscarriage.  Never having been pregnant, I have never had a miscarriage myself (my heart goes out to any readers who might have experienced this kind of heartbreak).  I would imagine that it would be tremendously helpful to be able to put a name to the little person who is no longer there.  If I were in that situation, I think it would help to bring some closure.

The names on the list below range from the slightly-feminine-but-won’t-get-weird-looks to the should-be-only-masculine-in-a-perfect-world.  I’ve tried to avoid the obvious ones; I know more Camerons and Taylors than I can shake a stick at.  Let’s see if we can be a little more creative, shall we? 

Unisex Names

Aaron/Erin
Adrian/Adrienne
Alexis
Angel
Ariel
Ashley
Aubrey
August
Averil
Avery
Brynn
Camille
Cary
Carmen/Carman
Casey
Charlie
Christian
Dana
Frances/Francis
Germaine
Jamie
Jan
Jean
Jerry/Gerry
Jessie/Jesse
Jody
Jordan
Kai
Kelly
Kelsey
Kerry
Kim
Laurence
Lee
Leslie
Lindsay
Loren/Lauren
Morgan
Noah/Noa
Noel
Quinn
Regan/Reagan
Rene
Robin
Rory
Rowan
Sage
Sasha
Shannon
Shea
Schuyler/Skylar
Stacy
Tracy
Valentine
Whitney

Busy, busy week!

Yes, this is a post to say that I’m going to have to forgo posting today.  We’re taking all of the fifth graders on a field trip, so I’m going to have to shake a leg this morning.

I’ll be back with a vengeance tomorrow, though. 

Happy Monday!

Legitimacy (or, What Makes a Real Name?)

Several years ago, I had not the faintest idea about baby names.  Oh sure, I had spent many happy hours of my childhood thumbing through name books purchased at garage sales.  I knew the meaning of the names of my immediate family.  But really, I had no clue.

In all my childish innocence, I decided to make up a name.  I wanted to make it the most beautiful-sounding name in the world.  And so I cobbled together a couple of my favorite name elements, with happy disregard for the conflicting origins of said elements.

What did I come up with?  Well, let me preface the answer to this question by saying that I was a HUGE Lord of the Rings fan at the time, and I like to go to Renaissance Fairs.  Just so you understand. 

The name I came up with was Ellawyn.

I look at it now and have to suppress a slight shudder.  Nothing against anyone who may have actually come up with this name independently and used it.  I’m actually a little bit jealous of you, if that is the case.  In a way.  It’s just that … well, knowing what I know now about names, I could not bring myself to use it.

What brought about this change of heart, you may ask?  I have a one-word answer:  BNaBBT.  Somehow I blundered onto their message boards shortly after my foray into name construction.  Quickly recognizing a smart, fun bunch of people when I saw them, I signed up and posted right away.  Which was kind of a big mistake, because my first post was about — you guessed it — Ellawyn.  This beautiful, wonderful name which I had made up all by myself.

In retrospect, they were pretty kind about the whole thing.  But at the time, it smarted.  They told me, in a nutshell, that Ellawyn was not a name.

This conclusion had me floored for awhile.  “Not a name?  That’s ridiculous; of course it’s a name.  If it can be used to denote a person, then it’s a name.”

What I didn’t understand back then was that they didn’t mean “name” in the sense of “a handle for a person.”  They meant “name” as in “something which has evolved over the years etymologically as a given name, rather than something made-up or cobbled together.”  It’s a subtle difference, but one that I understand a lot better now than I did then.

So, what would have been wrong with making up a name and then bestowing it on a new human?  In one sense, nothing.  The new human in question would most likely not have been traumatized; she may even have liked her name and felt unique and special because of it.

But in another sense, everything.

When we give names to our children, we are giving them their first gift.  What we choose to call them will tell them a lot about the things that we value in them as a person.  For example, a person who names his/her baby girl Princess is sending her the message that she is expected to be dainty, pretty, and feminine at all times.  A baby named Jagger or Hunter is expected to be tough, boyish, and physically fit.

It all comes down to what we value the most.  Made-up names certainly do communicate the desire for originality and “uniqueness” (I put that in quotes, because no name is truly unique.  I just found several Ellawyns through Google — I am crestfallen, but not surprised).

But what about history?  What about intelligence and strength of character?  I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that McKayleigh does not suggest these traits.

Here’s another way to look at it.  Using a time-honored, classic name is like bequeathing to your child a family heirloom.  An old violin, which your great-great-great grandfather carried over on the boat from Poland, where he was a concert violinist.  But using a made-up, cutesy name is like leaving your child a collection of bottlecaps and Beanie Babies.

So, an antique violin or a Beanie Baby?  I know which one I’d rather have.

Nicknames

Welcome to Melanie’s Treatise on the Relative Benefits/Detriments of Nicknames and Pet Forms.

When I was growing up, I desperately wanted a nickname.  Other people were called interesting things, like Fergie (her real name was Kelly) or Step (her real name was Stephanie).  I longed for the kind of popularity that would put others on a nickname basis with me.  Everyone knew who Shako was; no formal introductions were needed.

In my eyes, nicknames like that just exuded congeniality.  They were a mark of how comfortable other people were around you — how much they liked you.  Nicknames are, in many ways, affectionate.

But such social strokes were not in the cards for me.  I never really did anything spectacular that led to an event-inspired nickname (like Tripp, for the kid who fell down the stairs), and I didn’t have any prominent physical features that stuck out in anyone’s mind (though my band director did call me Shorty for awhile, as I was fairly tall).

Nicknames are different from pet forms, though I would have settled for either.  The only pet form of Melanie that seemed to stick was Mel; as a child of the 80s, all I could think of when I heard Mel was Mel’s Diner.  So I told my parents that I didn’t really like being called Mel, as that was “a boy’s name.” I guess their inventiveness gave out, because I was only and ever Melanie from that point forward (except from my dad, who insisted on calling me Mel).

When I got married, I tried again.

Me:  “Hey, George, would you give me a nickname?”

My husband:  “You can’t just come up with a nickname.  They have to happen organically.”

Well, I’ve been waiting more or less patiently for three-and-a-half years for something to happen “organically,” but I’m still just Melanie.

I think nature might need a bit of a push sometimes.

But then, my husband has a unique perspective on nicknames, as he never went by the name on his birth certificate until college.  And even then, family and close friends continued to call him by his nickname (which sounds a lot like Bubba).

I’ll hazard a guess that he likes nicknames/pet forms a whole lot because of this experience.  Sometimes I like to throw names at him, just to see what he’ll say about them.  After all, there’s a remote possibility that SOMEday we’ll have children.  Whenever I toss one of these names into the conversation, his response is usually the same:

“But what would we call him?”

This question sometimes brings me up short.  He’s got a point:  I don’t want our children to “suffer” the same lack of intimacy that comes from not having an acceptable, intuitive nickname.

I don’t want our kid to be like the kid my husband knew in high school, who, being the only one without a nickname, practically begged everyone to call him Big Red Bowl (because of his haircut).  That story ended badly, with the other kids saying … well, the same thing my husband says when I try to give myself a nickname:  you can’t give yourself a nickname.

Times have changed since the days of Big Red Bowl, however.  More and more parents are opting to forgo the traditional pet forms of their childrens’ names.  I have many students in my classes who only ever go by their full names:  Alexander (not Alex), Nicholas (not Nick), Andrew (not Andy or Drew), Elizabeth (not Liz), etc.

I don’t think we will be counted among those parents.

My Favorite Pet Forms

Girls
Betsy (Elizabeth)
Bonnie (Bonita)
Callie (Camilla, Calista)
Ellie (Eleanor, Penelope)
Emmy (Emmeline, Emily)
Francie (Frances)
Josie (Josephine)
Kate (Katherine)
Lucy (Lucienne, Lucina, Lucia)
Millie (Camilla, Matilda)
Mina (Wilhelmina, Philomena)
Minnie (Wilhelmina)
Miri (Miriam, Miranda)
Molly (Mary, Amalia)
Nell (Penelope, Anneliese)
Penny (Penelope)
Rosie (Rosemary, Rose, Rosalind)
Sadie (Sarah, Seraphina)
Tansy (Anastasia)
Viv (Vivian)

Boys
Archie (Arthur)
Eddie (Edward)
Eli (Elias, Elijah, Elliot)
Jamie (James)
Kit (Christopher)
Max (Maximillian)
Nicco (Nicholas, Nikolai)
Tad (Thaddeus)
Teddy (Theodore, Edward)
Theo (Theodore)
Patch (Patrick)
Ronnie (Ronald)
Tommy (Thomas)
Vinnie (Vincent)
Xav (Xavier)

Name of the Day: Isidora

The name of the day today sounds like it should be a popular name.  It starts with I, it can nickname to Izzy (or Dora, or Dory, for the Finding Nemo fans), and it has same the popular rhythm as Isabella and Annabella.

And yet not only is Isidora not on the Top 1000 list this year, it has NEVER been on the Top 1000 list.  Ever.  How is it that a name this accessible and appealing has never been on the list?  Neither Isidora nor Isadora has ever made it, and I am at a loss to figure out why.

Okay, I admit, “gift of Isis” is not too appealing of a meaning, except for you feminist types out there.    And the dancer Isadora Duncan was probably not the best role model in the world, from what I’ve heard.  And Isidora could possibly make people think of the musty, old-man name Isidore.  But I think that Isidora’s charms can more than make up for that.

An Isidora sounds like an intelligent, beautiful, slightly old-fashioned lady who never feels pressured to fit in.  All criticism rolls right off of Isidora’s back.  She just shrugs, and then she goes and writes a poem or composes an interpretive dance.

Just don’t let your daughter wear any scarves.  Ever. (warning:  slightly disturbing)

Possible Nicknames
Izzy (I once knew an Elizabeth who went by this — you’d be surprised how cute it can be.)
Dora
Dory
Isis
Sid (hey, it worked for Sydney)

from AskOxford
Isidora:  Feminine form of Isidore. This name was little used in the Middle Ages, but has recently become modestly popular.
Isidore:  English form (via Old French and Latin) of the Greek name Isid{o_}ros, composed of the name of the goddess Isis (of Egyptian origin) + Greek d{o_}ron ‘gift’. In spite of its pagan connotations the name was a common one among early Christians, and was borne for example by the great encyclopedist St Isidore of Seville (c.560–636). By the late Middle Ages, however, it had come to be considered a typically Jewish name (although originally adopted as a Christianized version of Isaiah).

from Behind the Name
Isidore:  From the Greek name Ισιδωρος (Isidoros) which meant “gift of Isis”, from the name of the Egyptian goddess ISIS combined with Greek δωρον (doron) “gift”. Saint Isidore of Seville was a 6th-century archbishop, historian and theologian. It has never been popular in the English-speaking world among Christians, though it has historically been a common Jewish name.

from NameBerry
Why is Isabella megapopular while Isadora goes virtually ignored? Too close a tie with tragic modern dancer Isadora Duncan, perhaps, or with fusty male version Isidore. But we think it’s worth reevaluating as an Isabella alternative. Quirky couple singer Bjork and artist Matthew Barney did just that.

from Baby Name Wizard
Style:  Exotic Traditional
Sisters and Brothers:  Phyllida, Artemisia, Esme, Mehitabel, Beatrix, Thelonius, Auberon, Horatio, Piers, Atticus
Isadora is a respectable lady’s name with an untamed spirit, thanks to flamboyant dancer Isadora Duncan.  It could be an adventurous parent’s alternative to Isabella.

Patriotic Names (America)

Happy Independence Day weekend!  Time to break out the explosives and celebrate our liberty by blowing things up!

Sorry, I’ve turned into a big ol’ sourpuss when it comes to fireworks in the streets.  It’s because of our neighbors:  every evening from the beginning of June up through the beginning of August, I live in constant fear that one of their fireworks is going to catch our house/yard on fire.  See, our houses are quite close together, and there are lots of big trees in our respective yards.  It just makes me nervous; I don’t trust their ability to be responsible.

Okay, rant over.  Let’s talk names! 

There are many reasons why people might want to give a patriotic name to their child.  Perhaps the baby is born on Independence Day.  Perhaps one of the baby’s parents is serving in the military.  Perhaps … well, some people just want to show their pride in their country.  All of these are perfectly legitimate reasons to consider using a name that carries feelings of patriotism.

A word of advice, though:  be subtle.  There’s nothing clever or cute about a name that smacks people over the head with its cleverness or cuteness.  One example of this kind of a name in fiction is the character Americus Nation (from Where the Heart Is).  I know, in the book it’s supposed to be a strong name that means something.  But somehow it just doesn’t seem fair to saddle a child with quite that degree of nationalism.  What if she wants to move to France as an adult?

Which brings me to a good rule of thumb.  If you’re wondering whether or not to name your daughter Liberty Belle, ask yourself the following question:  “Would this name cause my child to be made fun of in other countries?”  For better or worse, we live in an increasingly global society, and this is a reasonable question to ask.

Pride in one’s country is a wonderful thing; it makes a nation strong when the people stand together.  But remember the key word:  subtlety.

For this reason, I like many of the names that are “sneaky” about their patriotism.  Like Arnold, which means “eagle power.”

And really, any of these would be usable as middle names.  I do recommend balancing them out with other names to fall back on, in case your child moves to any of several European countries, where in-your-face Americanism might not be appreciated.

Anyway, happy 4th!  I’m off to go watch some fireworks. 

Girls

Liberty (best as a middle name, I think)
Glory/Gloria
Martha
July
America (PLEASE restrict this to a middle name, or just use Erica)
Columbine
Abigail
Honor
Reagan
Star
Belle (please don’t use Liberty as the first name)
Arlie (“eagle”)
Vega (“swooping eagle”)
Saoirse (SEER-sha, “freedom”)
Imelda (“entire battle”)
Matilda (“strength in battle”)
Eleanor

Isannah (thanks, Emmy Jo!)

Boys

Madison (best as a middle name, since it’s gone to the girls)
Truman
George
Lincoln
Justus
John
Abraham
Franklin
Quincy
William
Samuel
Arnold (“eagle power”)
Volya (“freedom”)
Maverick (best as a middle name)
Cadoc (“battle”)
Caedmon (“battle”)
Gunnar (“warrior”)
Walter (“rule of the army”)
Grant

Technical Difficulties

Hi, all…

I had grand plans for my post this morning, including a photo slideshow.  However, the good folks at Slide have, for some reason, decided that my slideshow is not WORTHY of saving when I click the save button.

So now it is getting close to time for me to leave for work, and I have spent all of my time on the slideshow that didn’t save.

I have only used profanity twice in my life, but I am getting close to #3.

I haven’t given up, but the post may have to wait until tomorrow.

@#$!%%#^@!!!!

There.  I feel better now — thanks for bearing with me.

*****************

p.s.  I finally got it working, but it’s time for me to go wrestle with 150 children who have been cooped up behind their desks all day.  If I survive, I’ll have a new post tomorrow (Thursday) morning.  The slideshow did turn out nice, I think, and well worth the effort.

Back in Town!

Sorry to leave Dorothy dangling there, but I was out of town this weekend visiting some friends in Indianapolis.  I thought I would have time to post, but the departure time kind of crept up on me.

I’ll be back with a new post tomorrow (Tuesday)!

Thanks for reading.